You can rip it off like a Band-Aid but, this is something you shouldn’t rush. Remember, that if you do come out, people will get over it. Never-the-less addressing the situation is best, before taking a relationship to the next level.
What does coming out mean to you? Will coming out make you feel better about yourself? Will it remove any guilt or shame you might have hanging over your head?
Like the saying goes “tell a lie and it will become part of your future, tell the truth it becomes part of your past”.
If you want to date someone and they are not out of the closet you must ask yourself are you willing to go back into the closet with them? But, whatever you do, don’t out anyone against their will, not to their friends, their work colleagues or family.
The most important thing is communication and your own health and welfare. Sometimes we must take a step back and let people work it out the best way for them to come out themselves, at their own pace. You have to remember that everyone is on a different journey. This life is your own life, you must live it and I agree, you shouldn’t have to hide either, not in society, not to your family and friends. But, you have to also see that some people have to for their own safety, sometimes for their partners too.
At the end of the day, it’s not about you, it’s about both of you and what does it mean for your relationship. Are you both prepared for the worse? You need to think about; Can your ego/relationship handle the fact that you are not going to be able to show affection in public. Are you ok to only be introduced as the friend or roommate, nowadays it’s also about how important it is to be able to share your relationship status on social media?
First, try to imagine what it would feel like to be in their situation. Some people have a supportive family, some people don’t. Some people come out in their early years, some people won’t until they are sure about it themselves. Everyone has the right to do it in their own time – and feel proud of who they truly are. You really must ask yourself, how much of that stuff do you really care about? What will it change? Is the stress and grief worth it? Is your partner ready? Is your relationship stable enough to take the next step? Ask them! You need to work out the pros and cons, together!
Next, talk it through with your partner, get to a mutual standpoint of when to come out (if they want to) and go from there. It can be hard to come out and these things take time. You should not force someone to come out in any way, shape form or fashion. It’s important that the person who is coming out is ready to do it on their own.
If your partner is out of the closet and you’re not out yet, you got to think about, is it going to cause a lot of issues in the relationship? It can but, only if you choose to let it. Living out of the closet gives us the ability to live a more authentic life, and embrace your true self? Sometimes just talking about it, is enough. Why I designed My Rainbow Network! A place where you can come out and talk about it. When I realised that by blogging I could help others, it turned a new chapter in my life. I now see life from a different perspective, and I’m looking forward to sharing it.